One Random Day
by randomqueenwilla
Summary: Linda and I randomly poop-ed in to Bleach while Rukia is held before her execution. We meet all the bleach characters and Naruto characters join our party. Itachi is a stalker, Kakashi wants a hug, and Gaara is a sad panda
1. Chapter 1

This is the first story I have uploaded here so have mercy. This story is actually written by my friend Linda and I. We are currently working on a sequal...

Ok so I guess I have to do a disclaimer I own nothing of importance, especially not Bleach or Naruto.

Warnings For the Story itself: mild spoilers if you don't keep up with the storyline of both stories (aka you have been hiding under a rock and ignoring the outside world). Main warning is randomness (I will not say that for the next chapters this is your only warning)

Warnings for this chapter: lack of cheek pinching, out of character characters, creepy people, and nicknames.

So now you can enjoy the story and ignore my rambling.

* * *

One random day…

One random day…. yes a random day…ok fine I forgot what day it was…so anyway…one random day my friend Linda and I were minding our own business when we suddenly pooped-in to the anime Bleach. Yes I said pooped-in, because that's what I said instead of poofed-in. Ok minding our own business meant that we were watching the anime Bleach and were discussing the pinch-ability of Captain Hitsugaya's cheeks (on his face you pervert). Now imagine our intense shock to suddenly find ourselves in front of the before mentioned captain.

"Candice what just happened?" Linda asked resisting the urge to pinch his cheeks.

"I think we just pooped-in."

"Huh?" Linda asked holding up a sign with a giant question mark printed on it.

"I meant poofed." I said to Linda as Hitsugaya glared at the two of us.

"Why are we here?"

"How should I know?" I asked looking around me and spotting an anime anger symbol sign and holding it next to my head.

"You knew the answer to the first question."

"Who are you girls, and why are you here?" Hitsugaya asked glaring at us with an actual anger sign on his forehead.

"How come he gets to have real anger signs and we don't?" I asked Linda ignoring Hitsugaya's presence and question.

"I don't know but I wanna pinch his cheeks." Linda said as Hitsugaya's eyes went wide and he ran away from us. "Dang it he got away." Linda said holding up a sign that said pout on it.

"I wonder how many signs we have." I asked as I began taking signs out of the air and throwing them into a pile next to me. Meanwhile Linda continues her pouting while staring at my now huge pile of signs. When my pile became larger than me I stopped. "Ok I know how many we have now."

"How many?"

"Enough." I said smiling. "Hey Linda is that who I think it is?"

"Hey it's Baldy!" In response to her exclamation I went back into my pile and pulled out a sign that said 'yay'.

"Ik-Ik… what's his actual name?"

"Ikka…Ikka…ku. Ikkaku."

"I'm just gonna call him Baldy."

"What are you two girls doing there?" Ikkaku asked us when he finally arrived.

"Baking pie." Was my sarcastic response.

"Thinking of ways to make you do what we want." Was Linda's honest answer.

"Huh?" Ikkaku said with a giant question mark floating over his head.

"I want a floating question mark." I pouted stealing Linda's pout sign from her.

"Aw is Baldy confused?"

"Baldy, Baldy, Baldy." Linda and I hear a high pitched child's voice say. "I like those girls Ken-chan."

"Yachiro!" Linda and I said in unison.

"You know me?"

"That means Ken…Ken…what the crap is his name?"

"I think its Ken…pa…Kenpa."

"Chi!" Linda and I shouted gleefully in unison. Then Linda and I pointed at Kenpachi and said, "Chi!"

"Ken-chan, Ken-chan, is Chi." Yachiro yelled happily.

"What!"

"Anyways, Linda we should probably run, or find a Cafeteria."

"Find a cafeteria?"

"I'm hungry."

"What are you Ryoka doing here?" Ikkaku asked suddenly.

"Planning a party." Linda blurted.

"For what?"

"Our Birthdays."

"Oh it's your birthday! Lets get some cake." Yachiro said jumping off of Kenpachi to jump around us.

"I like cake." I said simply.

"Cake! Cake! Cake!" Yachiro said jumping around.

"Hey, Chi, if you protect us and be a bouncer at our party we'll give miss bubblegum hair a sleeping potion and keep her away from the sugary substance known as cake." I whispered into Kenpachi's ear making him nod in agreement.

"What was that about?" Linda asked me.

"Chi is our new bouncer for our party. Hey Baldy you're invited to our party."

"I am?"

"Yes. Oh and could you go tell people that there is a party in the cafeteria and tell us where the cafeteria is?"

"Sure, the cafeteria is two lefts and a right from here."

"Thanks."

"Bye-bye Baldy." Linda smiled and waved.

"To the cafeteria." I said marching away hoping they would follow me.

* * *

Meanwhile at Byakuya's place

"I swear these two girls popped out of nowhere and started saying crazy things. Then they tried to pinch my cheeks." Hitsugaya said facing some of his peers.

"Then you ran away as fast as your little legs could carry you." Matsumoto remarked.

"I did not. I-I gracefully took my leave of them to come tell you of their appearance."

"Gracefully ran away then." Renji said barely containing his laughter at the small captain. Just then a knock was heard at the door.

"Who is it?" the calm voice of Byakuya asked.

"It's Ikkaku, I have news. Sorry to interrupt your um…meeting." Baldy said looking at the two vice captains that could barely contain their laughter and at the angry captain. "Well I was on patrol-"

"Hurry up and tell us the news." Hitsugaya interrupted.

"Fine. There is a party in the cafeteria. I'm supposed to get people to come."

"Party?" Renji asked excited.

"It's going to be so cool." Ikkaku said excited for some odd reason.

"What's the party for?" the ever present voice of reason that is Byakuya asked.

"These two girl's birthday."

"Them." Hitsugaya said angrily. "I'll go show them that they can not pinch my cheeks."

"You know what's really cool?" Baldy asked Renji, ignoring the small captain.

"What?"

"They somehow convinced Kenpachi to be their bouncer."

"I wonder how they did that." Byakuya wondered out loud, "I am going to see how they tamed Kenpachi."

* * *

at the cafeteria

"Whee, streamers!"

"Hey, Yachiro, I have some punch for you." I say as I give her the potion that would make her sleep. Linda and I then dragged her sleeping body to the corner of the room and nonchalantly continued decorating.

"Hey, Candice?"

"Yes?"

"Where did all this stuff come from?"

"I found it."

"Where?"

"The same place I got my question mark on a stick."

"Oh." Linda said as four Shinigami came in.

"Oh look its Bya…um Bya…"

"Byaku…"

"Look it's Bya." I said pointing to Byakuya making him get an angry sign on his forehead.

"It kind-of sounds like beer when you say it that way."

"Yeah, but I still want to be able to have the anger symbol and such without having to hold up a sign."

"See, there are those two girls, saying strange things again."

"Look it's Hitsugaya again, let's pinch his cheeks." Linda said chasing after him.

"Hey, Chi. You have to start guard duty now."

"Why?"

"No girls allowed but us." I said smiling creepily.

"But I want to stay at the party." Matsumoto whined.

"Ok let's leave it up to Hitsugaya," Linda offered, "Do you want her to stay?"

"No, she can leave."

"Chi!" I said watching with amusement as Matsumoto kicked and screamed as she was escorted out. "Wait, I have an idea. We will have a reject room party thing. Chi, put her in that room." I pointed to a door that wasn't there before that said in large obnoxiously orange letters 'reject room'. Linda laughed at Matsumoto and pinched Hitsugaya's cheeks.

"I hate you." Hitsugaya said anger signs popping up. I then decided he needed some more so I took an anger-sign-on-a-stick and I then held it next to his head.

"Ok, maybe you should stop pinching him for a bit Linda."

"Fine." Linda said holding up the pout sign once more. We heard knocking once more on the door.

"I'll get it!" I said happily. I opened the door to see the rest of the shinigamis. "Ok, so everyone travels in one pack…that's odd. Do you take organized bathroom trips also?"

"No." was the immediate unison response.

"That was weird." Linda commented holding up a sweat-drop sign.

"Uh-huh. Ok peoples, um yeah. I forgot what I was going to say. I remember now, no girls allowed in the main party all females must join the other party."

"Where is said party?" asked a women's voice from the crowd.

"In the room marked 'reject room'. Okies. Now for the rest of you, I don't know if I want all of you in here. What do you think Linda?"

"Creepy black-faced-yellow-eyed guy is creepy."

"Did you see his creepy nails too…shudder? Ok Creepy-black-faced-yellow-eyes-creepy-nail guy you must leave. Add weird shaped head to that description."

"I don't want to."

"Chi!" Linda screamed eager to send away the creepy guy who had started to stare creepily at me. Kenpachi then escorted him out.

"Yay, no more creepy stares." I said as I looked over the rest of the guys. "Let's sort you guys like this…first division step up."

"Too old." Linda said simply. "Reject room."

"Second. Ok big guy, I suppose you can stay. One wrong move and I will sick Chi on you."

"Yes, Ma'am." Marechiyo, Ōmaeda the lieutenant said obnoxiously loud.

"You shall be…O-man with the big mouth." I said seriously making Linda crack-up laughing. "Third division."

"Candice," Linda said pulling me to the corner of the room to whisper, "Gin is a bad guy, we should make him leave."

"What happens when he asks why he has to leave? Plus I think we should deny all knowledge of future events."

"Makes sense. Kira can stay either way."

"Ok," I said as I returned to the doorway. "Gin, Kira you may stay."

"What no nick-name for us?" Gin asked smiling.

"Fine, Foxy and Banana haired boy." I said dismissing them with a wave of my hand; Gin's smile increasing (if that's even possible) at my antics.

"Foxy? I like it." Gin said staring at me, but not staring because his eyes were closed. (how can he see?)

"Banana haired boy?" Kira asked softly as he passed us. Linda and I looked at each other smiling at his obvious dislike for the name.

"Fourth." I called, seeing only one-fourth division member there- Yamada Hanatarō. "Ok you can come to the party, right Linda?"

"Yup." Linda said pushing the frightened (for no apparent reason) boy into the room.

"Fifth, gosh this is taking forever."

"Agreed." Linda said as Aizen appeared in front of us smiling kindly at us.

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh." Linda and I both screamed at the same time pointing, and then abruptly we both stopped and calmly looked at him.

"Huh?" Aizen wondered giant question mark floating above his head.

"Fine you can come to the party." I decided, trying to stay on the psychopathic traitor's good side.

"Sixth."

"We're already here." Came Bya's cool voice from directly behind me and I mean directly. "Um, ok. Oops. You do realize you're invading my bubble by standing directly behind me right?"

"Bubble?" He asked taking a step back.

"Ok, um, Seventh. Ok, wolf and sunglass boy can come to the party."

"Eighth." Linda said realizing that if she said the numbers it would go faster, especially since she can yell louder than me. A man came in with a pointed straw hat drinking out of a small glass-plate-thing.

"Ok, um, you can go in pervert-guy."

"Ninth." Linda called as two men enter one wearing glasses and an obnoxious orange scarf thing and the other sporting a 69 tattoo.

"Ok, Orange-scarf man and 69 you may go in."

"Eleventh." Baldy and Ayasegawa Yumichika walk in at Linda's call.

"Ok, Baldy and extremely vain guy, or should we call them shiny head and vanity man? Mr. Clean and long eye-brow guy?"

"Let's just use all of them!" Linda exclaimed happily.

"Ok." I said as the two aforementioned men went into the party grumbling about the fact that they have more nicknames than anyone else.

"Twelfth." At Linda's call Mayuri was back.

"Um, you're still too creepy to stay." I said simply.

"Thirteenth." A long white haired man was the last person there making Linda's shout unnecessary.

"You pass." I said sick of greeting people. Which apparently was ok because they were the last. I looked out the door and saw Ichigo and them making their entrance. I quickly shut the door and went back to the party holding up a sweat-drop sign when I saw that Linda had resumed pinching Hitsugaya's cheeks.

"Can I use the bathroom?" Kenpachi asked randomly.

"I dunno, can you?" I asked as he got an anger symbol.

"Yes you can, so go." Linda said pausing in her pinching to shoo him away towards the bathroom. As soon as Kenpachi was out of the room Mayuri snuck back in. Mayuri decided that he wanted a hug…from me.

"Why is he here?" I asked no-one in particular.

"You smell good." Mayuri said as he held me from behind.

"Linda, he's creepy make him go away." I whined as I attempted to struggle out of his hold.

"Chi!" Linda shouted receiving no response. "I guess he can't hear me."

* * *

In the Bathroom

Kenpachi attempted to escape out the small window. He realized that escaping through there would be impossible when his hair wouldn't even fit through it. He then looked around him and noticed a spoon, randomly on the ground and decided to try to tunnel his way out. While he was breaking the tile he heard a noise that sounded oddly like his nickname, he ignored it and began to dig faster.

* * *

As you can see Linda has an obsession with pinching Hitsugaya's cheeks, she thinks he's cute. Why is Kenpachi trying to dig out of the bathroom? I honestly don't know...but he is.

Preview:

_"Eternal rival do not try to destroy this beautiful women's youth by stealing affection." Gail said as he appeared out of no-where._

_"Hey Gai, if you're going to stay you have to change. I have a strict no leotard policy."_

_"No not my green-sign of eternal youth!"  
_

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Yay people read this, go people! Maybe I should eventually tell Linda I uploaded this...

I still don't own things...like Bleach or Naruto

Warnings for this chapter: mild cursing, nicknames, dirty minds (if you have one you will get it if not no warning), spontanious singing, randomness

Just to remind you I am asking for help because I am being hugged by the creepy Mayuri.

* * *

Back to the party

"Chi, you are so in trouble when you get here." I said angry. "Would someone give me some help here?" I looked around the room to see everyone either ignoring me, laughing, or fighting each other. Why Gin randomly started fighting Bya, I shall never know. "Ok anyone? I'll give you a hug." I said desperately.

"Yo," Kakashi said poofing in out of nowhere. "Need some help?" he asked me his one eye closing in a smile I think.

"Yes please, use your knife-thingy to get me away from him."

"Knife-thingy?" Kakashi asked confused.

"It's a Ku-ku-kun…oh forget it. Candice do you have some paper?" Linda asked me easily getting me out of Mayuri's hold.

"Better. I have…" I said turning around looking for a random bag. "There it is." I said as I opened the bag and a dry-erase board appeared magically. "Ta-da!"

"Cool." Linda said as she began to draw a Kunai; a circle connected to a line and a triangle.

"Oh, a Kunai." Kakashi said.

"Yes." Linda said happily.

"That looks like an arrow." Ishida said appearing out of no-where with Chad and Ichigo.

"If she was going to draw an arrow it would look like this," I said drawing a long line with a triangle and some diagonal lines by the bottom. "Oh Ishida, go change your clothes and make some extra clothes I have a feeling that people will come who need better clothes." I said thinking about what might happen if Gai and Lee decide to show up.

"Why should I?"

"Because?"

"No."

"Because I said so?"

"No."

"I have Candy."

"I'm not a child."

"Then what do you want?"

"Material."

"Material?"

"String, cloth, etc."

"Oh ok." I say as I hand him a random bag with flowers on it. "There should be everything you need in there."

"Thanks." He said walking into the room. (What room? I dunno.)

"Hi Chad." I said happily to Chad as he just stood there quietly. "Wait a second, Linda, you got me out of creepy guys hold so easily why didn't you do that in the first place?"

"Um…"

"Linda."

"I didn't know I had it in me?"

"Whatever."

"Where's my hug?" Kakashi asked randomly.

"Hug?"

"You offered a hug to someone who would help you." Kakashi said smiling, I think.

"You didn't help Linda did." I said simply.

"But I want a hug." Kakashi said whining.

"I want a hug too." Mayuri said.

"You're not even supposed to be here, you're creepy. I'd rather hug …well basically almost anyone is better than you." I said as Mayuri pouted.

"So that means I get a hug?" Kakashi asked.

"No." I said but apparently my opinion didn't matter because Kakashi decided to hug me anyway. Suddenly I was abruptly pulled from Kakashi's grasp.

"Eternal rival, do not try to destroy this beautiful women's youth by stealing affection." Gai said as he appeared out of no-where.

"Hey Gai, if you're going to stay you have to change. I have a strict no leotard policy."

"No not my green-sign of eternal youth!"

"Leave this place." I said while motioning to Kakashi to make him leave.

"If it will allow me to show up my eternal rival once more than I will shed my green youth."

"Good, now go into that room and obey Ishida."

"Yes ma'am." Gai said striking his nice guy pose causing Linda and I to cringe. As Gai walked away there was a loud bang from outside the cafeteria, being the wonderful protectors that they were all the shinigami ignored it. What they didn't ignore was the door banging open and team seven coming into the party.

"Ah! The pinkness make it stop please make it stop." Linda and I exclaimed at the same time. Byakuya then knocked Sakura out and regally sat down in a chair that was not there before.

"Sakura!" Naruto screamed in worry.

"Hn." Was all Sasuke said.

"You just knocked out a member of my team." Kakashi said to Bya causing his remaining team members to look at him and point, well Naruto anyway Sasuke calmly looked at him.

"There you are." Naruto said.

"And…"

"We need to go back now." Sasuke answered angry.

"But I like the party." Kakashi said hugging me once more.

"Enough with the hugging." I said, "you both are welcome to join the party, the pink one can go to the corner of pinkness." (Which now sported a big sign in pink saying 'corner of pinkness' with glitter and a curtain so we would not have to be subjected to the pinkness)

"Well we have to choose names for them."

"Well Naruto has to be Sunshine." I said then me and Linda started singing in perfect harmony while hugging him and swaying to the music…"You are my sunshine my only sunshine when you're not happy my skies are gray…" causing Naruto to blush while Sasuke glares at Hitsugaya's ice sculpture and melting it causing Hitsu to glare at him.

"Sasuke shall be…either Mr. Grumpy pants or Emo-boy." I suggested.

"I'm voting for Sas-gay or man-whore." Linda imputed.

"Man-whore? That doesn't even make sense." Sasuke says.

"Doesn't it?" Linda says.

"I just said it didn't."

"It makes sense to me."

"Then what is _your_ definition of man-whore?" I ask. Sasuke immediately turns red and shuts up.

"Place your bets here…" Renji said taking my dry-erase board to write down the bets.

"You know Linda, he has 'uke' in his name…" I said to Linda as Sasuke finally got pissed off at us and started to do his fireball-attack thingy.

Then Gai comes out of the new clothes room and shouts "Save the YOUTH!" ultimately getting burned. Linda and I then shout, "Stop drop and roll! Stop drop and roll!"

Then Linda says, "Wait, where are the marshmallows?"

"I have the gram crackers." I say.

"I have the chocolate. What you don't keep emergency chocolate in your pack?" Kakashi said as Naruto and Sasuke stared at him weird. "You are bad ninjas."

"I have Ramen in my pack."

"Can we have some?" Linda and I ask.

"Sure, just not all."

"I have Tomatoes." Sasuke said not to be outdone by Naruto.

"What kind of a Ninja are you?"

"I hate Tomatoes." I said.

"How can you hate Tomatoes?" Sasuke said turning his full force glare at me and starting a fire in his palm. Which I calmly blew out. Then me and him had a long, boring, conversation about Tomatoes…

* * *

Meanwhile (during the long boring conversation)

Kenpachi is still digging his way out of the bathroom with a spoon.

* * *

Also Meanwhile

Ichigo is glaring a hole in the wall.

* * *

Still Meanwhile…(last one I swear)(liar-Linda)

In Konoha Tsunade called team 10 minus Asuma because he is on a mission what type of mission I am not at liberty to say. So she also called in Iruka, so that he would stop worrying about Naruto (apparently he wouldn't shut up about it), to go on the find Gai, Kakashi, and team 7. Also Team Gai minus Tenten, she's sick, was sent on this mission. Why so many people? Well…two Jounin level shinobi are missing and she is sending genin and chunin after them.

* * *

Back at the party…

"…So that is why Tomatoes are nasty." I concluded my incredibly convincing point.

"I see the error of my tomato loving ways but, I still will like them just to piss you off."

"Well then I will have to either call you sas-gay or sas-UKE."

"Who do you think you are talking to?"

"A jack ass."

"Carry my things Mr. jack ass." Linda said.

"I hate to interrupt you ladies but where is the food?" 69 man asks us.

"I don't know ask your partner?" Linda asked.

"Huh?"

"Excuse her she's a little retarded today…well everyday."

"Retarded." in retarded voice.

"Anyway, why a 69? Are you aware of what that implies?" I ask him.

"No what does it imply?"

"I know what it means, pick me, pick me." Kakashi says waving his hand, which has his book in it, to get our attention.

"I don't think we should tell them, there are children present."

"What children?" Naruto asks.

"You, Sasuke, and Hitsugaya."

"I'm older than you." Hitsu said with anger marks appearing.

"Sure you are." I said sarcastically.

"Who wants a lolly pop?" Linda asked.

"Hey why does he get one?" I asked. As Hitsu took it just to piss me off. (Although it would have been funny if he skipped away)

"He is cute. Wait where did I get a lolly pop from?"

"We don't question these things, well not since the sign fiasco." I said as suddenly Lee burst through the door shouting, "Gai-"

"God? Where?" I asked.

"Where's god where's god? I'm sorry I sinned don't eat us." Linda said as Neji and Ino walked through the door.

"Girl!" I screamed and pointed to Ino.

"Where." Kakashi asked, "Oh you." He said looking at Ino, "I thought you said girl not pig."

"Why you." Ino said not noticing Gin come up behind her knocking her out then he carries her into the reject room.

"Enough about pigs…where's God?" Linda asks. "I still haven't been saved." "The lord repels you." I say as I pull out holy water and a bible.

"Where did you get that from?"

"We do not question these things." I answered him calmly as I notice Lee is no longer talking. "Linda is it quiet in here?"

"I never noticed I was zoning out."

Lee then realized that God was in fact not there and stopped shacking. Then he opens his mouth intending to speak then Shikamaru and Chouji come in and interrupt him.

"Where are those troublesome people." Shika says as Iruka comes in.

"Don't call Naruto troublesome." Iruka says.

"Iruka!"

"Naruto!

"Do you have Ramen?"

"No."

"What kind of ninja are you." I ask.

"Huh?"

"Ninja's these days don't know anything. First man-whore with his tomatoes then scare-face with no ramen."

"Hehe." (dream bubble-say hello to my little firend-Iruka…I'm not that little-Naruto)

Linda pops the bubble and asks, "I thought that was 69's job?"

"Lets not bring this up again Kakashi will get excited, and we don't in what I am implying."

"It's ok I'll be safe."

"But I won't."

"What are you talking about?" Bya asks.

"You don't know?" I ask.

"What kind of Shinigami are you?"

"One of the best."

"Sure you are." Linda says sarcastically.

"You poor sheltered man." I say giving him a hug.

"I'm a sheltered man." Kakashi says wanting a hug.

"Liar." Linda says.

"It is my fate to enlighten you about the true meaning of fate." Neji said randomly as all the lights turned off other than a spotlight on him.

* * *

During Neji's long unimportant fate speech

"Where did that come from?"

"I want a spotlight." Linda whined holding up a sign that said 'give'.

"You have a 'give' sign?"

"Apparently."

"Cool. What are you doing?" I ask as Linda pulls out a note pad and begins writing.

"Taking notes."

"You know we're not in school right?"

"I thought we were because someone was trying to tell me something I don't care about…"

"I like school…"

"How are we going to make him stop?"

"I have an idea. Hey Neji!"

"What do you have to say that is more important than fate?"

"Bya has better hair than you."

"What? That's not possible."

"It's true." Linda said adding her two-cents.

"He was even in a Herbal Essence commercial."

"Prove it."

"Ok." I say as a projector appears out of nowhere and a large white screen comes down from the ceiling and a shot of Bya doing the hair whoosh thing in an herbal Essence commercial is shown.

"When did we get that?" Renji asked.

"I don't know." Ikkaku answered staring at it.

"When was I in that commercial?" Bya asked no one.

"Nooooooo! His hair is cooler than mine." Neji said fate speech completely forgotten.

"Bya's hair is so cool." I say as I randomly begin to run my fingers through his hair as he smirks.

"I hate you." Neji said pointing dramatically to Bya.

"Ooh Neji is jealous." I say not stopping playing with Bya's hair. "You know jealousy is the green beast."

"It's such an ugly, ugly thing." Linda said.

"I'm ugly?" Lee asked nearly in tears.

"Not you jealousy."

"True it is an un-youthful thing."

"So true, Lee."

"Gai-sensei"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!" they say to each other as a sunset appears behind them.

"How did?" Linda asked.

"We do not question these things."

"Oh right."

* * *

Byakuya doing a herbal esscence commercial is just too funny to pass up. I especially like the fact that he didn't even know he did it...

Preview:

_"You don't even know if your friends lived, shame on you." Linda says._

_"What kind of Shinigami are you?" I ask._

_"Look I found a clue." Linda says pointing at Sherlock Holmes._

_"Linda that;s a detective, not a clue."_

_"What a stupid clue."_

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

I finally told Linda about uploading the story…took me long enough.

I still do not own important things (bleach, Naruto, Clue, etc..) just unimportant things like ideas.

Warnings for this chapter: more nick names, hair, The Akatsuki, and girl scouts

* * *

"Lets give out names." I say randomly.

"YAY!" Linda says as everyone sits down on the floor.

"Ok un named people stand."

"Neji shall be destiny-man."

"Or fate-boy."

"Shikamaru shall be lazy-boy, where's my couch."

"I shall call you shika or bum."

"Chouji shall be--…."

"Bob."

"What?" everyone but me and Linda ask.

"We like Bob. We could have named him Stan Dan or Kyle?"

"OK."

"He was my imaginary skitso boyfriend, Kyle was the odd one."

"Are you still going out with him?" Kakashi asked.

"No, we broke up because he stole my chocolate, for that he had to die." Evil laugh and choke while doing it.

"How come I don't get a nickname?" Aizen asked.

"The real question is why didn't we give you one?" Linda says.

"The question I ask you is this, why do you want one." I ask.

"Everyone else has one."

"If everyone else jumped off a bridge would you?" Linda asks.

"Why would they jump off a bridge?" Aizen asks.

"Wrong." Linda interrupts.

"The real question is did they live?" I ask.

"Did they?" Aizen.

"I dunno." I say.

"That's why we asked you." Linda says.

"How should I know?" Aizen says.

"They were you're friends." I say.

"Huh?"

"You don't even know if you're friends lived, shame on you." Linda says.

"What kind of Shinigami are you?" I ask.

"Look I found a clue." Linda says pointing at Sherlock Holmes.

"Linda that's a detective, not a clue."

"What a stupid clue."

"Not a clue a detective."

"It was colonel Mustard in the observatory with the candlestick."

"You're wrong it was Ms. White in the Library with the rope."

"Huh?" Naruto asked completely confused.

"Aren't we playing clue?"

"What?"

"You're no fun."

"I am fun, I'll play. It was Sasuke with the Kunai in the forest of death?"

"Why me?"

"It's always your fault." then they started fighting.

"Why are they fighting?" asked Iruka who apparently wasn't paying attention.

"You should have been paying attention." Linda says.

"I was, I couldn't follow the conversation."

"Well whose fault is that?"

"Not it!" I say.

"Well then who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?"

"There are cookies?" Chouji asks.

"Not anymore." Linda and I say cookies hidden behind our backs.

"Can we have BBQ?"

"We would need a fire." I say.

"Can't you make fire you were a girl scout?"

"No I can't I was a girl scout."

"I just said that?"

"We weren't allowed near fire, that's boy scouts. All we did was sell cookies."

"Cookies?" Chouji asks.

"No cookies." Linda and I say hiding three boxes of thin mints behind our backs.

"So how are we getting fire?" I ask.

"There's Kakashi," Linda said.

"No."

"Why?"

"He'll want a hug."

"Sasuke?"

"Worth a try."

"Cluk, cluk! Why isn't he answering? We're speaking his hair's language?"

"Can hair talk?"

"I guess not? Let's ask Bya."

"Why not me?" Neji asks.

"We already discussed this, remember the commercial?" Linda asks.

"Oh." Neji said looking dejected.

"It's ok, you have nice hair. In fact if you want I can play with it later."

"No, she plays with my hair." Bya says dragging me away.

"Okay?" I ask confused.

"Bya can hair speak?" I ask as he drags me away from Neji.

"No."

"Are you sure?" Linda asks.

"Yes."

"So it can speak?"

"No."

"No it can't speak?"

"Yes."

"Well if you're not sure then don't answer."

"I hate you."

"That's nice. Candice we need to ask Sasuke for fire before he's knocked out and you have to leave,"

"Where am I going?" I ask.

"When?"

"Huh?"

"Where is she going?" all the creepy people asked at once, yes that means you Bya, Mayuri, Gin, Kakashi, Man-whore, Aizen, and Gai.

"Why do you all want to know?"

"No reason." They all say at the same time, a bit too quickly.

"I'm scared now."

"Dun dun dun."

"Linda maybe we should ask Sasuke now while he's not fighting."

"Okay fine, ruining my rhythm."

"What rhythm?"

"The one I just made up."

"Ok, Sasuke! Can you make fire for our BBQ?"

"NO."

"Maybe if we ask him in his native tongue…cluke cluke, quack quack, cluck cluck." Linda says.

"Huh?"

"You mean you're not a duck chicken thinggymabober?"

"No."

"You're hair is totally misleading."

"If you stop talking and bring me Itachi so I can fight him, since you are good at making things appear."

"We're not magicians."

"Wait I have a random portal in my random bag."

"This sure is a random day…" Linda said as she watched Bya and Gin get into another fight about something…?

"Not really."

"Yeah I guess it could be more random, I mean it is us."

"Just think, soon we will have even more people here, not just any people either, evil people."

"I just had a vision of a boy skipping next to a train while eating a lollypop, yelling; 'man-women relations'."

"How did you get that from evil people, oh wait I don't wanna know." I say as Linda is trying to give Hitsu a lollypop, again.

"You need protection." Kakashi said.

"From what?" I ask.

"The S-class criminals?"

"Can't you just say bad guys or evil people?" Linda says.

"No."

"Oh them, I'll be fine." I say as I nonchalantly enter the portal.

Then Linda sings a mix between 'all by myself' and 'one is the loneliest number'. Then my head appears out of another portal and I say, "I'm the one alone, everyone's still here but me."

"Oh." Linda says as she notices Hitsu and pinches his cheeks.

* * *

At the Akatsuki ultra secret hideout (the one without a sign)

Immediately after I exited the portal (after talking to Linda) I walked into Deidara and said "sorry."

"Who are you, un?" Deidara asked getting a clay bird ready.

"Make me a doggy! Or a castle with a flag that says 'Candice Land'!"

"No, un."

"Please? If you do I'll give you," I say as I reach behind me, "A pout sign."

"What?"

"Oh I know a sign with red clouds on it?"

"No, un"

"Did you just call me hun?"

"No, un."

"You did it again, that's weird."

"Who are you, un."

"The question is why don't you know who I am."

"Because you just appeared here out of nowhere, un."

"The real question is, how did I appear out of nowhere into the ultra secret Akatsuki base?"

"That is a good question." Deidara says as Zetsu walks into the room because he heard Deidara talking.

"Who is she?"

"The real question is how did she appear here, un." Deidara says to Zetsu.

"How did she then?"

"I don't know, how did you get here, un?"

"Answer me this, where is Itachi?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"The real question is what is Itachi doing right now?"

"Why would you want to know that?"

"Why do you keep asking the same question?"

"Because we want to know, un."

"Exactly, so…where's Itachi?"

"The third room on the left, un."

"Why did you tell her?"

"She was confusing me, un."

* * *

Meanwhile back at the party

"whee Karaoke! It's your turn Bya, oh wait you knocked yourself out during Ikkaku's song. Ok Neji,"

"What?"

"You get to sing I feel pretty. And begin."

"I refuse."

"It's your destiny to sing that song."

"Really."

"Yes. Right Shika?"

"Troublesome."

"He says right."

"Well if it is my destiny…"

* * *

Yes I know this chapter is shorter...maybe I will upload again later this weekend...or do my work, either way there are only two more chapters left in this story before the amazingly brilliant (although I am most definately biased) sequal.

I am thinking about uploading another story (or two) along with this one since I had started writing a Harry Potter story (I am many forms of dork) for my sister and I had this idea of writing separate short stories involving all my creepy people…starting with Itachi (who isn't even in this story yet so I don't know why I'm writing this)

Preview:

"_What kind of ninja are you?"_

_"The evil kind."_

_"Where's your evil laughter then?"_

_"What have I to laugh about?"_

_"Um…your evil scheme succeeded?"_

_"We have not gotten the fox yet."_

_"Whose fault is that?" I say finally pissing him off completely._


	4. Chapter 4

Only one more chapter left, Oh Noes!

It's ok, there's a sequel.

I still own nothing.

Warnings for this chapter: mild cursing, talk of bullying and rape (if you don't know by now that we aren't serious…), the mystery of 'oom', and Tobi being a good boy (yes he is)

* * *

Last time on One Random Day:

"_whee Karaoke! It's your turn Bya, oh wait you knocked yourself out during Ikkaku's song. Ok Neji,"_

_"What?"_

_"You get to sing I feel pretty. And begin."_

_"I refuse."_

_"It's your destiny to sing that song."_

_"Really."_

_"Yes. Right Shika?"_

_"Troublesome."_

_"He says right."_

_"Well if it is my destiny…"_

On to the Story

* * *

Back at the ultra (not so) secret Akatsuki hideout

"I wonder what Linda is doing…probably something weird. Now where is Itachi." I mutter as I pull out a map that has a large X on it that is labeled 'where Itachi is'. I continue to walk until I find a door marked 'Itachi's room' the odd thing was none of the other doors were marked. I then proceed to sneak into the room dot-ting the mission impossible theme song.

"You are aware that you are humming?"

"I am not humming I am dot-ting."

"Okay."

"You have to come with me."

"Why?"

"The real question is why do I want you to come?"

"That is my question."

"Oh. Then it's because Sasuke wants to fight you.

"Foolish little brother."

"Yes that one but his new name is man-whore."

"Man-whore?"

"You know what that means right?"

"Of course."

"Pervert!" I say while holding an arrow pointing at him.

"Where did you get that?"

"We do not question these things."

"Then what do we question?"

"Not that."

"Why are you helping my foolish little brother?"

"Oh, man-whore?"

"Yes."

"We need fire."

"Fire?"

"Yes and I was in the girl-scouts so I can not make fire."

"Then why not use a lighter."

"Do you have one?"

"No."

"Well neither do I."

"So where is my brother?"

"Through a portal."

"You have a portal but not a lighter?"

"We do not question these things."

"I do not have time for this nonsense." Itachi says as he walks towards me then we hear the voice of Linda shouting 'rape, Candice run you didn't use the buddy system'.

"We have Naruto." I say in a sing-song voice causing him to stop walking towards me.

"Give."

"Fire."

"Give"

"Fire."

"Give."

"Come?"

"Fine."

"YAY!" I say clapping my hands together.

"On one condition."

"Boo." I say throwing a tomato.

"Where did that come from?"

"Man-whore."

"Still addicted is he?"

"Yes, the fool didn't even have any ramen in his pack."

"Neither do I."

"What kind of ninja are you?"

"The evil kind."

"Where's your evil laughter then?"

"What have I to laugh about?"

"Um…your evil scheme succeeded?"

"We have not gotten the fox yet."

"Whose fault is that?" I say finally pissing him off completely.

"Don't talk to me like that wench." he said as he completed his walk towards me and harshly grabbed my arm.

* * *

Meanwhile at the party

Linda is showing a video about bullying and rape. "And this is why we should not bully or rape people. And remember the buddy system.

"But Candice didn't use the buddy system." Kakashi said.

"It's alright she has the rape whistle."

"This one?" Mayuri asks.

"Crap. It's all right she knows self defense…wait no she doesn't. She can throw a decent punch, oh wait she doesn't like to fight. She's doomed! Doomed I say."

"Let's go after her." Kakashi offered.

"I don't have a portal."

"Why don't you have a portal?"

"She took mine."

"She's doomed!" Mayuri and Kakashi said at the same time crying tears.

* * *

Meanwhile in the bathroom

Kenpachi distinctly heard the word 'ooom' coming from the other room. "What is 'oom? Must dig faster."

* * *

Meanwhile in Konoha

Tsunade is once again wondering where everyone is.

"Hokage-sama! Someone broke into the ultra secret Akatsuki base!"

"Who? And how do you know?"

"I dunno and word travels."

"Get me everyone we have available." Tsunade said snaking a drink of Sake.

* * *

Meanwhile at the hot spring

"Hehehehehe…"

* * *

Back at the Akatsuki base

"Let go of me."

"No."

"Why not."

"…"

"So now you're ignoring me, huh? Well I'll ignore you back."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Grr…"

"Did you just growl?"

"Hn."

"So limited vocabulary runs in the family?"

"Don't push me wench."

"I didn't push you. You grabbed me."

"Idiot."

"Stupid."

"Wench."

"meanie."

"Psychopath."

"Bully."

* * *

Meanwhile at the party

"So we need a portal."

"I can make one." Mayuri said.

"Why didn't you say so before?"

"You didn't ask."

"Did I have to?"

"I guess not, anyway, I can make a portal."

"So…"

"What?"

"Go make one."

"Now?"

"Do you want Candice to be raped?"

"No."

"Then make the bloody portal."

"Ok."

* * *

Meanwhile at Konoha hot spring

"Hehehehehe…"

"Jiraya-sama?"

"You're interrupting my research."

"You are summoned by Tsunade-sama."

"But I wanted to do research." he said in a whiny voice.

"It's your funeral then."

"Fine."

* * *

Back at the Akatsuki

"This is foolish."

"Fine lets agree that you are coming with me."

"On one condition."

"That again."

"I want a hug from you."

"What's with the hugs? Why doesn't anyone want to hug Linda?" I ask as a bubble thought appears showing Linda hugging Hitsu. "Oh yeah because she would be the one doing the hugging."

"No, that's not the reason."

"Then what is the reason?" I ask as Tobi bursts through the door knocking Itachi over making him finally let go of my arm.

"Tobi is a good boy?"

"Yes you are." I say in a baby voice. "Want a bone? Wanna fetch?"

"He's not a dog." Itachi says getting off the floor.

"But he is a good boy."

"Tobi is a good boy."

"Yes you are." I said as Deidara comes into the room.

"There you are Tobi."

"Toby is a good boy." he said as the rest of the Akatsuki came into the room, minus the leader and the girl.

"Everyone get out of my room." Itachi said pushing people out into the hall and once more grabbing my arm.

"Not this again. Where's my rape whistle?"

"Rape?" Hidan asked in an interested voice.

"Why do I have two portals? Dang it I can't whistle. I'm Doomed doomed!" I said as I ignored Hidan.

* * *

Meanwhile in Konoha

"You have all been selected for a mission."

"Selected?"

"Yes, now go." Tsunade said sipping Sake.

* * *

Outside her office

"We weren't selected were we?" Kiba asked.

"I believe we are the only ones left in Konoha that could go. Even Iruka is missing." Jiraya answered.

"We're the leftovers then?"

"Yes."

* * *

At the party

"Is the portal done yet?"

"No."

"How about now?"

"No."

What's this button do?"

"Don't touch that."

"Oops." Linda said as the portal blew up forcing Mayuri to start again.

* * *

At the Akatsuki

"So who's coming with me?"

"We are." all of them answered.

"But I don't like all of you."

"Well decide who you want to go, un."

"Well, Tobi is a good boy so he can come. Itachi has to come."

"Where's my hug?"

"There are hugs?"

"No hugs."

"Then no Itachi."

"I'll hug you when we're there."

"You don't trust me?" he said smirking evilly.

"Not with that smirk."

"Deidara can come because I said so. Zetsu, sorry you can't come."

"I'll bake you pie."

"Not enough."

"I'll give you a money tree?"

"Ok. Hidan can come if he doesn't curse and we can poke his abs. Kakuza creeps me out. Sasori can come if he stays out of his puppet."

"You will become art." Sasori says and I hide behind Itachi a bit causing him to smirk.

* * *

The Akatsuki are coming the Akatsuki are coming…perfect time for a shameless plug for my other story here…if you enjoyed this chapter and wish to read more Itachi goodness refer to my new Itachi story called 'Issues with Itachi'. You know you want to. It includes kidnapping, staring while eating potatoes, staring while drinking, and shiny things. In fact chapter one is called I followed the Shiny. End of shameless advertisement.

Be happy the last chapter is filled with extra long goodness…

Preview for next chapter:

"_I think it's because I attract creepy people."_

_"Probably."_

_"I'm not creepy." Bya said._

_"Sure your not. Don't you have to go fight Gin or something?"_

_"I'm bored with that, play with my lovely hair."_

_"Ok."_

_"Play with my hair." Neji said._

_"Good luck with that Candice." Linda said as she started to walk to the other side of the room away from the three fighting males and the two prissy males._

_"What happened to the buddy system?"_

_"It ended when you got here."_


	5. Chapter 5

So this is the last chapter, don't worry there is a sequel as I mentioned.

Warnings for this chapter: hint at Tobi spoiler, cursing, stupidly named plans that fail (Gin), ultimate randomness

Without further adieu the extra special long (Even though it's only a little longer) last chapter of One Random Day!

* * *

Meanwhile at the party

"Finally done." Mayuri says as a portal appears in the room.

"Look a swirly thing." Linda exclaims.

"That isn't my portal." Mayuri says, "Mine comes in pink."

"Hi people." I say as I walk in.

"Candice you didn't use the buddy system."

"Um, no?" I say as the rest of the people exit the portal.

"Shame."

"Did you at least not talk to strangers?"

"Um wasn't that the point of me going there?"

"Did you at least stay away from Michael Jackson?"

"Yes."

"Where did you get that pie and money tree?"

"Zetsu."

"I want a money tree."

"Get your own."

"I don't have one in my bag."

"Let's get down to business."

"Where's my hug?"

"Dang it Itachi, first where's his foolish brother man-whore."

"Knocked out."

"Still weak I see." Itachi said standing over his brother.

"Itachi's here!" Linda screamed causing Sasuke to wake up and bonk his forehead into his brothers knocking him out once more."

"Where are we going to get fire now?"

"I know Maddadadadadadada…" Linda says.

"Yes Madadadadadada…" I say.

"Madadadadaadada?" everyone asks.

"Madadadadada?" Tobi asks pointing to himself.

"If you know it's you then just do it." Linda says.

"Tobi is a good boy."

"Wait Tobi, not until they do their part of the bargain." Itachi said amazingly not knocked out.

"Wait why didn't we just get Itachi to do it?" Linda asked with a question mark held over her head

"We do not question these things."

"Where's my hug?"

"Hug?" Mayuri and Kakashi ask.

"He wants me to hug him." I say as Kakashi and Mayuri glare at Itachi and start fighting him. "Well that's one way to get out of it.

"Such a violent world."

"But it works in our favor so it's ok."

"You mean in your favor?"

"Well they didn't wanna hug you."

"I don't know why." Linda said with shifty eyes.

"I think it's because I attract creepy people."

"Probably."

"I'm not creepy." Bya said.

"Sure your not. Don't you have to go fight Gin or something?"

"I'm bored with that, play with my lovely hair."

"Ok."

"Play with my hair." Neji said.

"Good luck with that Candice." Linda said as she started to walk to the other side of the room away from the three fighting males and the two prissy males.

"What happened to the buddy system?"

"It ended when you got here."

"What."

"Bye!"

"Where are you going?"

"To Linda's corner." she said walking to where Shika, Hitsu and the money tree were sitting. Then she proceeded to stroke the money tree and pinch Hitsu's cheeks.

"Troublesome."

"I feel like I forgot someone…Man-whore!" Linda said then pulled him into her corner. "It's so peaceful over here."

"Where did Gin go?" I asked.

"What's a gingo? Is it like a dingo?" Linda asks from her corner.

"No where. Did. Gin. Go."

"Where did he go?"

"I'm right here." Gin said from directly behind me. "Did you miss me?"

"Um, no. I was just taking creepy people inventory."

"I'm creepy?"

"Your eyes don't open."

"Yes they do."

"Prove it."

"Not here."

"Why not."

"I don't want them to see."

"Well I don't wanna go into a room alone with you."

"My plan is ruined."

"What plan."

"The ingenious get Candice into a room plan."

"Do you actually call it that?"

"Yes."

"That's just sad."

"Well it's not permanent."

"Good, oh look Hinata's here."

"Where?" Linda asked.

"At the door, with some other people who are unimportant."

"Come in all. Except for the Pervert."

"Yeah, don't worry though Jiraya, we sent the girls to the reject room so you should be thanking us." I explained after seeing his dejected face.

"I want to go to the reject room." Kakashi whined.

"Fine, but I'm not in there to give hugs."

"Hugs?" All the creepy people asked at once. So Linda created a booth with a next window please sign and a number counter.

"Ok everyone take a number for hugs." Linda announced.

"What!?"

"Don't worry, see the next window please sign, we will never move it see how long it takes them to figure it out."

"That should keep them occupied for a bit, at least as long as it will take for us to give nick-names to Kiba, Shino and Hinata. I vote we let Hinata stay and keep her name, because she's nice and quiet."

"Agreed."

"Kiba has to be dog-boy."

"Or dog-breath."

"Well does he have dog-breath?"

"I'm not going to check."

"Then dog-boy, because I'm not going there."

"Then Shino can be sunglass man, or bug guy."

"Well he can't be sunglasses because I think we call Tousen something to do with his glasses, or being blind…I forgot."

"Bug-guy it is, wait why does he get to stay?"

"Do you want bugs sent after you?"

"I see. So what's next?"

"How should I know?"

"You seem to know other things."

"Oh wait the script…" I said as I fished around in my random bag and pulled out sheets of notebook paper.

"What does it say?"

"It says that we need translators…for three easy payments of…"

"9.99 call this number now…555-555-555 yes that is a bunch of fives. Keep dialing five until you reach us." Linda finished in her commercial voice.

"Well that was random. Moving on. It says that Orochimaru is coming, and Mayuri needs a shower."

"I don't smell." Mayuri yelled from his spot in the hug line.

"I think its sot that you de-creepify."

"If I do will you give me a hug?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really." Mayuri answered.

"Then fine, oh and while you're there bring Chi back he's neglecting his duties."

"Wait did you say before that Orochimaru is coming?" Itachi asked, appearing directly behind me.

"Yes." I say stepping away causing him to follow.

"Creepy snake guy is coming?" Linda asked.

"According to the script yes. Itachi, why are you following me so closely?"

"Orochimaru is dangerous and I don't want you to be kidnapped before I get my hug."

"Are my hugs that good?"

"Yes." The creepy people all stated.

"That's just creepy in and of itself." Linda remarked.

"You're telling me."

"Did I hear people talking about me?" Orochimaru asked appearing out of no-where.

"Why can't I appear out of no-where?" I ask.

"I can teach you if you and Linda join me, all I ask in return is a sacrifice."

"A sacrifice?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Michael Jackson, aren't we too old for you?" Linda asked.

"We'll give you Naruto." Linda suggested.

"You promised the Akatsuki Naruto."

"It would be hard for us to become president and vice president if we loose our bargaining chip." I said to Linda.

"True. Fine then Sasuke."

"I want that one." Orochimaru said pointing to Hitsugaya.

"Mine." Linda said possessively pinching Hitsu's cheeks.

"Fine, I'll settle for Sasuke, but he's a bit too angsty." Oro conceded.

"I can teach you how to appear out of nowhere." Itachi said simply.

"Really?" I asked turning around to face him, forgetting how close he was so I was facing him directly, and our faces inches apart. "Itachi what have I said about personal space?" I say as I back away slowly.

"Nothing that I listened to." Itachi answered following me.

"A little help here Linda." I say as I'm nearly backed into a corner.

"Sorry can't." Linda says as she sits on a comfortable lazy-boy recliner (Shika apparently had it delivered after bidding for it on E-bay) eating popcorn watching my misery.

"Anyone?"

"If I get out of line I will never get a hug." Kakashi said from line.

"Ditto." Aizen said.

"Wait, why do you want a hug?" I asked and Aizen responded by smiling creepily. "Creepy." I remarked.

"Apparently no-one will save you." Itachi remarked smirking evilly.

"Um, I'll give you a hug?" I ask. "Why would I settle for that later when we are so close now?"

"Look Madara is kidnapping Sasuke."

"Where?" Itachi looks away as I slip past him and run towards Linda and her lazy-boy recliner.

* * *

Meanwhile…in the bathroom

"They want you to come back." Mayuri said to Kenpachi.

"I'm escaping." He answered as he continued to dig his already six foot deep hole.

"Why?" Mayuri asked as he took off his head thing in preparation for his shower.

"Because, they make me do things with blackmail."

"So, they have me taking a shower for a hug."

"From which one?"

"Candice, of course."

"A hug, eh. I think I will return to the party, but first there's something I always wanted to do." Kenpachi said as he lifted Mayuri up and dunked his head in a toilet giving him a swirley. "It is fun."

* * *

Back at the party

"Why do I feel like I just got another admirer?" I asked no one but as usual Linda answered.

"Because you probably did, check the script."

"I lost it. Well more like Chouji thought it was BBQ and ate it."

"Well how will we know what to do?"

"We could always just wait for stuff to happen."

"Well there's that."

* * *

Meanwhile back in Konoha

"I'm really sorry for calling you in for assistance but we really need your aid." Tsunade said to the sand siblings.

"What has happened?" Temari asked.

"Many of our Ninja have gone missing on their retrieval missions, we think that the Akatsuki and the ones who broke in are somehow responsible."

"How did it happen?" Kankuro asked.

"It started with team 7…"

"We'll go." Gaara answered simply making all three of them vanish into sand.

"Well, that was simple." Tsunade said taking a sip of Sake.

* * *

Back at the party

"Come on Itachi put on the red dress." I tried to coerce him into putting the dress on, don't ask why.

"I'll do it." Kakashi randomly announces.

"NOOOOOOO!" I shout.

"ADRIAN!" Linda shouts then hums the Rocky theme song.

"Back to the fact that you are putting on that dress." I said interrupting Linda's humming.

"Yeah if you don't we'll annoy you." Linda stated.

"You think it's easy to annoy me, Sasuke is my brother top that."

"It will be tough but I'm up for it, Linda?"

"Sounds like a challenge, bring it on."

"Hn."

"So Itachi why are your nails painted?" Linda starts.

"Are your toe-nails painted also?"

"Do you have other colors, because purple doesn't match everything?"

"Do you have pink, or is your gay color of choice purple?"

"Are you gay?"

"Is that why you have long hair?"

"Are you with Deidara?"

"Is it weird, or good that he has three mouths?"

"Did you ever date anyone else from Akatsuki?"

"Did you ever have impure thoughts about your brother?"

"How about Naruto?"

"Are you a Pedophile like Orochimaru?"

"Did you and Orochimaru ever get together?"

"How did you get those lines on your face?"

"Want to borrow some anti-wrinkle cream-"

"Ok, I admit you both are infuriating." Itachi said Sharingan blazing looking like he's about to kill us. We were saved by the arrival of the three Sand Siblings.

"Panda!" I scream as I go give Gaara a tackle hug. Gaara and his siblings look at me in awe and shock, because the sand didn't protect Gaara from my hug.

"Why does he get a hug?" Creepy people ask. No one answers.

"Hi!" Linda said to the other two as I continue hugging their brother, causing all the creepy people to be jealous and Gaara to blush.

"Yay, I'm not dead!" I announce.

"I'm surprised too." Linda mutters to herself.

"Ok so Temari you have to go to the reject room and Kankuro has to take off his make-up and cat thing." I announce finally letting go of Gaara.

"Cat-man and Panda welcome to the party." Linda announces.

"Oh and Temari…yoink." I say as I steal her fan.

"She just stole Temari's fan, she's dead." Kankuro whispers to Gaara who is staring at me in shock about the hug, still.

Just as Temari is about to kill me with pointy objects Kenpachi appears and throws her into the reject room. "Chi you've returned!" I exclaimed happily since I didn't die.

"What's this about hugs?"

"Um, no hugs?" I say innocently.

"Mayuri said that you were blackmailing him with hugs." Chi elaborated.

"Traitor." I mutter to myself, but I am randomly facing Aizen as I say it.

"There is a queue and line for hugs." Linda says directing him to where everyone else is waiting for a hug is.

"Why are you refusing them hugs?" Kankuro asked.

"They are creepy?"

"I'm not?" Gaara asks intrigued.

"Well you were when you were randomly killing people, but controlling sand is cool. Turning into a giant raccoon thing not so cool, but it wasn't your fault, so no to me you are less creepy then them." I say smiling sweetly at him. Gaara blinks a couple of times then proceeds to follow me around wherever I go. "Great another stalker." I mutter looking at Gaara and at Itachi who are both stalking me.

"We never gave Kakashi a nick name." Linda randomly noticed.

"We don't need to his name means scarecrow."

"Oh, well then-" Linda starts.

"We're off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of Oz, because because because because because-" Linda and I begin to sing skipping through the room.

"No singing." All the gloomy people shouted.

"Fine, for now." Linda said mischievously.

"Hey, Sasuke," I say noticing the boy just woke up to glare at Itachi which made me uncomfortable since Itachi was behind me so it seemed like he was glaring at me, "don't go joining any snake perverts."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you do." Linda answered for me enjoying a good argument.

"I do not."

"Yes you do."

"And team seven replaces you." I add.

"With who?"

"Sai." Linda supplies.

"Who?"

"Where's the dry-erase board?" I ask.

"Where you left it?" Linda says.

"I should probably look there, here it is." I say pulling it out of my random bag, where I had shoved it earlier.

"Ok so this is Sai." Linda said pointing to her badly drawn stick figure that looks like it has a belly shirt.

"Does he have a belly shirt?"

"Yup and he's an artist. He also tries to kill you but doesn't because he likes Naruto." I say.

"Yeah, he was a member of ANBU ROOTS division."

"He could be cooler than you except he has a strange fascination with Naruto's Penis." I say.

"What?" Naruto exclaims having only heard 'strange fascination with Naruto's Penis'.

"He always calls you dickless and asks if you are really a boy. It's quite humorous actually." I state calmly.

"Hey, I always wondered if Chakra could actually create craters."

"Sasuke try it." I command.

"No."

"It might impress Itachi." Linda whispers to him as he looks at his brother who is completely ignoring him in favor of glaring at Gaara and stalking me.

"Ok." Sasuke says as he tries to create a charka crater, which he succeeds in doing but no one but Linda and I seem to care.

"Hey Itachi," I say turning to the two glaring at one another, "Can I do your hair?"

"Sure." Itachi said with a smirk. I start to braid Itachi's hair causing him to get angry. "What are you doing?"

"Braiding."

"Why?"

"Because it seemed like fun?"

"Stop it."

"Or what?"

"I'll kill you." Itachi said calmly.

"Where would I go, I'm already at the place that you go when you die. Where would I go five steps away? In fact kill me; let's see what will happen." I say smiling at him.

"Hn."

"What?"

"Hn."

"Not this again."

"Hey I've been wondering, if we do not question these things what do we question?" Linda asked interrupting my argument with Itachi.

"We question things that are unimportant and things that annoy others, like when we were annoying Itachi."

"Oh yeah, good times."

"Yes good times. Speaking of look what I have, lists of how to annoy everyone here."

"Where did you get those?" Bya asked holding his number but curious enough to get out of line.

"We do not-"

"We get it." Most people shouted at me.

"Are you sure because I can say it."

"We're sure." The people said.

"Poor sad Panda." I say looking at Gaara who was thinking about something. Then I go hug him again and mess with his hair, because I like messing with people's hair.

"Look what I found in these ways to annoy people papers, the script."

"Well what does it say happens next."

"Everyone goes home."

"What?" Everyone, including Linda and I, shout as portals opened under us and sent us all back to our houses or at least places where they would have been if we didn't interfere.

The End.

* * *

Abrupt ending I know but I did warn you about the randomness. The next story is filled with spoilers and actually follows the current plot line of bleach…amazing, a plot.

Thinking about Kenpachi giving Mayuri a swirley is oddly amusing isn't it?

About us trying to make Itachi wear a red dress, even I don't know the mystery behind that one.

Preview from Another Random Day the Sequel to this story:

"_So I guess we go through a portal or something?"_

_"What else."_

_"Fly?"_

_"Can you fly?"_

_"No. But if we had a magic carpet?"_

_"But we don't."_

_"How about a genie?"_

_"This is not Disney."_

_"It's not?"_

_"Nope."_

_"Aww, I wanted to go on Splash Mountain."_

_"Well, I'm sure we can have fun messing with the hollows."_

_"Yay annoying people."_

The first chapter will be uploaded next Friday so look for it!

Until then you can read my other story Issues with Itachi that I will update tomorrow. Yay shameless advertisement.


	6. Chapter 6

This is not really a chapter but an announcement so that the story can go into the Naruto universe

This is not really a chapter but an announcement so that the story can go into the Naruto universe.

Since this story and it's sequel follow the bleach storyline more it was originally uploaded to there, but it also has Naruto characters and I think that people who like Naruto will also like it so please ignore this chapter since the story ended in chapter five.


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